oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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