I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
