My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
