No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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