He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
