You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
