I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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