I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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