its not stalking. its research.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Randomize
