Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
