No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
