i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
