Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
