I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
