So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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