oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
