Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
