He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
