Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
