Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
