Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
