At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
