apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
