i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
