after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
