Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
