I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
