I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
