Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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