I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
