so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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