Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
