marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
