never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
