was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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