Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why is your signature on my underwear?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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