he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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