spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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