I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
