Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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