Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
