I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
