He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
