It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
