Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
