it was like his penis was on wheels.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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