Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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