just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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