Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
