the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
