so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
